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“You were dead three years, Sherlock. I’ve moved on.”

“Really, John. I had hoped that without my stimulation you wouldn’t have become as dull as the rest of them. Clearly those hopes were in vain; you know better than to lie to me.”

“Now, wait-“

“Your current phone is my old one, now roughly three years out of date. You could be using it for practical purposes - maybe the phone Harry gave you broke, maybe it got stolen and a man such as yourself would see no sense in buying a brand new phone when you have a perfectly good one sitting in a drawer somewhere - but the most likely cause is sentiment. In fact, I can almost guarantee that if I were to check your outgoing messages I would find that not one of my texts has been erased, while you occasionally clean out your own from time to time.

Next there’s the wedding ring: Fairly new, frequently cleaned, but there’s a large scratch going along the length of it. You take care of it, clearly, and you don’t take it off even when doing something that might cause damage to it. This means you love your wife, but you’re not in love with her. Why? Because you have yet to get it repaired. You’ve offered, but the woman you married is just as practical as you and says she doesn’t mind, that it’s just a piece of metal. She was lying, of course, but you dropped the subject because you would rather believe her and leave it be than go out of your way to fix something that is supposed to represent your ‘eternal love’ for her.

Then there’s the obvious discrepancies between the purchases that you and your wife make. You just bought a car, a nice one that cost a good sum of money, which you can afford thanks to your elevated position at the surgery. The watch you’re wearing is also new, but it’s of the cheaper variety - certainly less than the two of you could easily afford, as I imagine your wife’s own income is also rather cushy. It’s clearly a gift from her, as your wrist is rubbed slightly raw from incorrect sizing and you’d feel guilty informing her that the size is wrong. The fact that your purchases are luxury and hers are well below her means indicates that she’s planning for your future together - probably ready to start a family - and you lack the same desire.”

“Sherlock-“

“Want me to get on with it? Fine, let’s skip right to the physical, shall we? Your hair is completely blonde - you’ve started dyeing it. You don’t feel comfortable enough to let the grays show anymore - could be because your wife is much younger, more than likely it’s because she fails to make you feel comfortable in your own skin. You smile frequently, but rarely does it meet your eyes, as the lines around your eyes have stayed roughly the same, while the wrinkles along your mouth have deepened.”

“Are you quite finished, yet?”

“That depends entirely on whether or not you still plan on deluding yourself.”